Today, Eva asks a question.
Several years ago, I lived in a very spiritual place called Santa Fe, New Mexico. I feel my journey towards awareness began there. It is where I first began to have memories of my abuse. I moved away about 8 years ago, and much has happened. Not a day goes by, that I do not long to be there, however, it just doesn’t feel like it is some place I should be living right now. Though, my longing to be there is incredibly deep.
My question is, where is this longing coming from? Is it from a place of truth, or a place of distraction? In some ways, I wonder if it interferes with my journey.
My Dearest Eva, in one sense is your awareness of Santa Fe as a spiritual place rooted in your ancient wisdom, your inner recognition of energetic connection, vibration, and resonance. But in another sense have you been drawn, by your spirit, to this place of magic for evolutionary purposes. Your longing stretches now beyond the physical spot to your own inner longing to recapitulate. You are aided in your search for meaning by your connection to and awareness of spiritual desire.
(A crow is CAW, CAW, CAWING in a tree outside the sliding door right now, VERY LOUDLY! … Now it moves off…. The crow of recapitulation?)
Your intensity of feelings regarding this prominent spot signifies your deep spirit, stirring already those many years ago, urging you to do your inner work. Your awakening must continue no matter where you live. Your recalling of past events must not be smothered by a greater longing to escape your present situation. For there is no escaping that which calls to be known, that which seeks your attention, and that which must be processed in the context of your greater life.
Your time now is within, and in your heart center do you carry still the knowledge of this beautiful spot in New Mexico that calls your name and stills your spirit. Yet does it also stir up memories of horror and confrontation with truth, devastating and abhorrent though they may be. Your place of calm resides inside you. You already received the gifts from this place, this Santa Fe. You received knowledge of its ancient wisdom and power, and its energetic force that seeks to jolt awake those who are truly alive and aware.
But many get caught in its magic, captivated by the ambience of its power. Yet do they not utilize it. I find that your truth spoke to you there, yet were you not allowed to stay and sink into the reverie of its somnambulant power. You were offered its gifts to carry forth with you, rather than become enthralled with their powers, and not have the catalyst needed to send you on your journey by sitting pretty upon its sandy peaks and calming hills.
So look on your time there as your time of true awakening. Your journey has led you now to find your inner work, to a place where it can be done without the distractions of the ancients, who still reside in the atmosphere of Santa Fe, interrupting the lives of many. And those who live there must contend with their interferences. Such interference is not conducive to the work you now do. But you have been imbued with the ancient spirit powers, to go abroad and do the inner work, even as the shamans of that place did once go off to their own inner experiences and returned when their journeys, there recapitulations, and their lessons were complete.
So to answer your questions, know that your longing comes from an ancient connection, and your ability to recognize its resonance. Once experienced, of course you could not ever forget it, it is powerful! But its gift is tremendous, for it opens the door to your inner work, and this is your place of truth. Do not wonder where the longing comes from any longer. It comes from you, in resonance with the holy atmosphere, the spiritual atmosphere that shook you awake, and that is how it should be.
Do not seek to distract your self with wondering about your longing. Your longing must now be directed toward a longing to fully know and understand the self, the journey you have taken, the journey you are now taking, and the journey that lies ahead. Take with you into this inner work the knowledge that you have been offered; that you do feel and connect properly with the right resonance. You do not need to doubt your ability to recognize your proper path. Use that ability now, as you continue your work, as you learn to trust the ancient truth of life as a journey, as a challenge, and as a growth-oriented journey that will lead you to the proper place of resonance within the self first, so that no matter where you are in the world your inner spirit will be your anchoring place. And you will be free to live a calm and quiet life, full of the kind of resonance you felt in Santa Fe, no matter where you physically reside. You see? You have Santa Fe inside you.
You are right, in that you must not allow your longing for this place outside of you to interfere with your longing for seeking it inside you. For that is where you must find it, and that is where you must return to it, in the resonance of self, the recognition of its power and magic within.
Your journey has been sparked with great powerful potential. Your issues of abuse that emerged in such a place of ancient wisdom are drawing you to them, asking you to recall them, learn from them, grow from them, and find your own magnificent inner power and magic as a result.
All of you, My Dear Readers, have Santa Fe, New Mexico inside you. All of you have the inner wisdom, the resonance, and the connection to ancient knowing. All of you are seekers, spirit beings, and wise ones. Continue your good work on the self. Reside in your heart centered knowing that you are doing the work that is right, that is necessary, and that is going to free you, so that you may enjoy your inner sanctum, your inner Santa Fe.
And perhaps, My Dear Eva, you will also one day have your inner power in good balance, so that, if you choose to return to the real Santa Fe, you will be in tune with the resonance there, rather than overwhelmed by it, or enthralled by it, but truly at one with it, resident in its resonance. For that is how to truly live in such a place of power, fully aware of the self as journeyer; doing constantly the inner work; unafraid, freed of the old covers that seek to smother your awareness, and able to utilize the energy of that place to continue your journey.
Who knows where you will go in your future. But I see that you are beginning to trust your own abilities to take the journey, to handle the pressures and the revelations of your recapitulation, and to acquiesce to the inevitability of taking such a meaningful journey. That is what you have carried forth from your years in Santa Fe, and it is powerfully aiding you now, as you take your next steps in your growth.
Accept the gifts you have been given, and keep taking your journey forward, into the self.