Chuck’s Place: Eros Is Not Sex

What and who is Eros?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

By one account, Eros is the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Eros is frequently represented as the young, devilish Cupid who pierces his target with the arrow of desire. When Eros strikes, his victim is overcome with attraction and longing for a specific person.

This longing is frequently portrayed in images of blissful sexual union and ecstasy, a supreme state of wholeness and fulfillment. However, real union far transcends sexual intercourse. In fact, for sexual intercourse itself to result in complete union a meeting of spiritual nakedness must also take place, and this requires relatedness. Eros is really relatedness.

Relatedness means connection at a feeling level. To meet another at that level we must be willing to reveal who we really are behind the mask of our attractive persona. As well, we must be able to meet, accept, and value who our partner really  is.

If we impose our needs, expectations, and appetites upon our partner we are not related, we are entitled, and our partner generally feels burdened, pressured, and not met. Entitlement breeds alienation, the opposite of Eros, which seeks deep connection.

When we share our fears, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses with our partner, as well as the pain and humor of our human cluelessness, Eros is activated. When we tune in with attention and sensitivity to our partner’s revelations of their felt flaws and guarded secrets, Eros draws us closer, deepening our connection.

When we acknowledge our carnal lust and desire but temper it to meet where it is truly possible to meet at this time, Eros rewards our restraint and sensitivity with deepening soul contact. This is the pathway to relatedness and genuine love.

It’s always been possible to overpower and take what one wants. This kind of exchange will never result in love. Love requires respect. Without respect the soul retreats, Eros flies out the window, and love dies.

Important in these times—when the ruling leaders of the world are of the entitled, grabbing what you want ilk—that the true tenets of love be reinforced. Eros is not sex. Eros is relatedness. Relatedness is the pathway to love, and that love might indeed open to blissful sexual communion. But blissful sexual union can never happen without Eros, the god of true relationship.

Relating,

Chuck

 

Soulbyte for Wednesday January 11, 2017

Be yourself. Find your center and know yourself fully so that no matter what comes at you you can immediately anchor yourself in yourself. The more known you are to yourself the stronger you are, the calmer you are, the safer you are, for when you know yourself there is nothing outside of you that can harm you. And when you are in yourself, right with yourself, you are naturally right with the world and then all is in balance, within and without. You, yourself, are what you seek first and foremost. From there it’s just a matter of not getting lost in the whirlwind outside of you. If you are right with yourself then the world is right with you too! And that is the natural way!

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Tuesday January 10, 2017

Do what is right because it’s right to do it and not out of spite or anger but because you know that it’s finally time. When it’s time to move on, do it without resentment. When it’s time to face something, do it with courage. When it’s time to change, do it with all you’ve got. Face each day and the challenges of life like a warrior and you will have no cause for regrets, for you will know your own strength and fortitude. And when you are totally in charge of your life, you can also bask in the glory of your creation of it, for that is what you are there to do, create your own life.

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Monday January 9, 2017

As cold as a winter lake, as warm as a summer breeze, as deep as an ocean, as swift as a river, as vast as a midnight sky, so is life as it asks you to take it on, to live, to grow, and to evolve. Life presents you with its ebbs and flows, its ups and downs, its lessons in how to be, how to get along, how to proceed, but it’s up to you to make something of yourself, to create the life you want, to contribute to and be a full-fledged member of the world. The gift of life was freely given to you, but it’s up to you to take it forward, one day and one step at a time. It’s all about taking responsibility for yourself because the truth is, no one else can do it for you. It’s your life after all. It’s never too late to create a new you, a new reality for yourself. Is today the day? Ready to take it on? And remember, the whole universe is supporting you!

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne