Tag Archives: feminine

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Tap Into The Feminine Source

1 Comment
I perceive a triangle...

I wake up each morning and directly out the window I see a triangular shape of branches. I see this every morning and every morning I wonder what it means. The triangle is important, significant, and its image hovers in my thoughts throughout the day. This morning I noticed something else. I saw a cluster of leaves and light creating a wheel at the top of the triangle in the way the light was hitting the tree. “Oh, the dharma,” I thought, the wheel representing the teachings of Buddha. I knew I was being asked, as I often am, to spread the dharma, that which I have been learning. “Okay,” I thought, “today is the day I write my blog. What will it be about?” And so, since then, it has evolved into the following message.

An old idea has come circling around again, into my conscious thoughts, appropriately so, for it is nature itself calling. It is Mother Earth calling out to the women of the world, asking us to remember who we are, for we are the source.

As a channel, I cannot ignore what comes through me; it would be neglectful and perhaps even disastrous to do so. I’ve had enough experience to know that it’s important to speak of what comes. I am not being inflated. I have learned over the past decade that what comes through me energetically is usually right on the money, it has value, and so I ask: Who are we? Do the women of the world truly value and utilize all that we hold inside us? Do the women of the world realize how intimately connected we are to nature, to the flow of energy, to the innate powers of healing and nurturance?

Thyme...from the earth...

Last night, as I was preparing dinner, Chuck asked: “Is this all ours?” Meaning, did we grow this? “Yes, it’s all ours,” I said. “Wow, you did this!” he said. “This is all you!” And I had to acknowledge that, yes, the food we are eating these days is all due to the efforts I put into making a garden so that we may eat directly from our own soil. At that moment, I realized that we all have the power within us to bring forth healthy goodness, to nurture ourselves and others in so many ways. Men and women alike, we are all capable of creating a beautiful, peaceful, healthy world, for I will not leave men out of my message today. However, I direct my words to women, because I feel that we have increasingly gotten distracted from, and discouraged from being, who we truly are.

In truth, we women are deeply connected to the source of all life, to the rhythms and flow of nature, to the moon and stars, to the deep rumblings of the earth, to the mystical, ethereal realms of the heavens. We are the beings who have the greatest opportunity to bring interconnectedness back into life, into everyday life. We are many, and we are fully capable of changing the world, but our power is, as of yet, largely untapped. Though many women are already aware and involved in awakening feminine energy, many more women need to get involved, in whatever way feels right and comfortable.

We all want the world to be a better, safer place. We can start to make that happen in small ways, simply by letting our spirits speak through us, by letting ourselves channel the good energy inherent in all of us. As we send our children and those nearest to us out into the world every day, as we meet people every day, we must not forget to tell them that they are good, kind beings, and that they should live their lives that way too, because life itself deserves this kind of energy, life is calling all of us to be this way.

We must remind ourselves of this goodness and kindness within ourselves and live it fully as well. We must all discover that we are all the same and that we all want the same things. Not money, not riches, not more stuff, but that we all want to love and be loved, to feel good about ourselves and others, to feel happy and contented. But how many people can really say that they are those things? How many people can truly say they are happy and contented in their lives?

Happiness, as we all know, does not come from having more. Greed, as we see all over the nation and the world, has wreaked havoc for decades, spoiling our earth, our water, our food, our bodies, our politics, our religions, our educational systems, and so much more. We are all out of balance because of greed, whether we have been directly involved or not.

Greed is definitely masculine energy unleashed, overpowering the feminine. It’s time for the feminine to rise up in a new way now, not in the masculine way, not by turning into that which we have learned does not work, but in an energetic way. We women, and men too, must turn to energetic interconnectedness on a conscious and deeply spiritual level, bringing change into the world in whatever way we have at our fingertips, for I believe we all have the power of interconnectedness at our fingertips right now.

The dharma...the teachings of spirit and life itself...

I realized that I made the choice many years ago to bring what I am learning to others, what I might call the dharma one day, which is really just about discovering what it means that we are all energetic, interconnected beings. I spend a good deal of my time each week writing blogs, not because my ego needs the work, but because the spirit inside me and the energy of that which I channel challenges me to be open and giving. After a lifetime of hiding behind shyness—which is another side of ego too, I might add—I now know that the rest of my life is taking me in a new direction and I am letting it guide me. I will not stand in its way. And I can tell you, it’s never too late to change. It’s really all about allowing the energy of change, connected to the flow of nature, the energy of all things, to take over, and daring to go with it.

I notice, especially over the past few months, how strikingly desperate we all are for change and how many people feel helpless, lost, and even hopeless in the face of what we have done to our planet and our species. Have we indeed turned into zombie creatures that just roam the earth destroying uncontrollably, without any connection to the sacredness of life? Have we come so far from caring about others that we cannot see that we are all in the same boat, desperately fighting for our next clean breath of air, our next sip of clear water, our next bite of pure food? Are we so far gone that we do not care if our earth gets fracked and drained of its resources, further destroying that which we have already destroyed to the point of no return?

So what do we do now? Where do we go from here? Well, I have a few ideas, simple ideas that I’ve been utilizing myself for a long time. I know they work. It all depends on who you are and how you personally decide to investigate changing your own lifestyle. Each of us must make personal decisions to change how we live in order for others to do the same. We can’t ask of others what we are not willing to do ourselves. But I can attest that making even simple changes begins a process of change. Keep in mind, however, that although change can happen on a simple scale, even the most simple of changes requires discipline, but not so much that balance is lost. Balance, as we see in nature, is of utmost importance.

Learning to do simple meditation on the conditions of the earth and humanity, breathing in the pain and destruction that we see and breathing out healing, nurturing energy is extremely easy. Everyone breathes. So what if we all set the intention to breathe in a new way, asking that each inhale we take be a breath focused on what is wrong in the world and each exhale be a breath of healing energy? Can we do it?

Try it. Set the intent that each normal breath, whether consciously focused on or not, have meaning. Set the intent for the self first, then for those closest, then for the world. Ask that the energy of healing and nurturance flow through you and that it heal you, those closest to you, and that it flow beyond you to the rest of the world. Watch what happens as you set this intent and then go into your day and just breath naturally.

We all have it...Can we dare to use it for good, for all beings?

For a more focused meditation, breathe in personal issues and conflicts and breathe out healing, for the self and others. Breathe in fear and greed, and breathe out compassion and balance. This is a very simple energetic act of kindness, love, and compassion for all beings. Breathe in sorrow and grief, and breathe out happiness and contentment, for self, those closest, even those you are at odds with, and then to the greater world, and see what happens.

To those who are gardeners, as I am, send this same kind of good and nurturing energy into your soil, even into the pots on your balcony or deck. Ask the earth to heal by spreading healing energy from your little plot of ground, down into its interconnected byways, spreading to your neighbors’ yards and beyond. Ask your earth to provide you with what you need to heal your body and your soul and ask that it go outward to others as you garden, as you put your hands into it, as you walk barefoot upon it.

Do this in water as well. If you have access to streams, river, or ocean, ask the waters to interconnect with healing energy, bringing it far beyond your own dipping spot. You can even do this in the shower and bathtub. Send your healing energy around the world. In these simple askings—in intending that the air we breathe, the earth we grow our food in, the water we drink, be interconnected channels of energy—we implement an energetic intent to change, offering it to everyone.

As simple as these things may seem, as naive as they may sound, anyone who has experienced energetic interaction knows that this is not hogwash. It is what the great healers, saints, and holy people have been teaching us forever. Love heals, love changes, love is the way. Love begins within each of us. It is feminine energy, the deep pool residing inside all of us, waiting to be tapped into, not just in women, though I send a plea to all women to return to it now and use it to change the self, and then the world. We all have this source within us, and though it may feel distant and unfamiliar, I ask you to tap into it again. Like an innocent child, bring it back into your life.

It has become increasingly clear to me that all of us women must step up now. We must take over the energy of change, shifting it in a new direction. As much as the men of the world have struggled to change the world, they too must admit that things are not looking too good. We have to all tap into the feminine source now, and return to our deeper roots. We must all become humanitarians and utilize our full human potential to love, to heal, to evolve our species to a new level of interconnectedness.

Breathing for all of you, with humbleness and love,
Jan

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Abuse of Power—In the Service of Whom?

Leave a comment

In a dream, Jan and I are parked in our little black car in a vast Stop & Shop supermarket parking lot. We’re just sitting, quietly and calmly, Jan in the driver’s seat, I next to her in the passenger seat. A pick-up truck pulls in tightly to my side. A man opens his door, which smacks into our door. I’m not particularly fazed and turn to Jan and say: “See, that’s how we get those marks on the car when we’re parked.”

The man, who didn’t skip a beat after hitting into the door, walked away obliviously—we simply didn’t exist for him. He took no responsibility whatsoever for having left a scratch on our little car. However, after I made that comment to Jan, he turned and got back into his truck and pulled out, cutting his wheels too much and causing his car to catch part of our bumper and actually begin to drag us along. Eventually, it unhinged, but just as before he acted completely oblivious; not that he was refusing to take responsibility, but even more profoundly, he simply didn’t care even to waste the energy on us to defend himself—we simply didn’t exist.

I had this dream the night it was exposed that Pachamama had used Tweetie Bird to bring down Anthony Weiner, just another of her recent targets: high-powered men who abuse their power. This dream dramatizes the utter blindness, narcissism, and outright disregard by masculine energy when it dominates the personality. What this means inwardly for such a domineering individual is the total negation of the feminine energy within the self.

The feminine energy within all selves, male and female, is the energy that opens, receives, holds, joins, and nurtures life, bringing us into a deep experience of interconnectedness and oneness of all things. Feminine energy, when polarized and dominant, can bring forth death and destruction to clear the way for new life. We find ourselves in such a time now. Pachamama has gained the ascendancy after centuries of polarized abuse by dominant masculine power. Pachamama is on the warpath, and we are all feeling the impact of her path of destruction, as she prepares the planet for new life.

My dream dramatizes the abuse of masculine power that has led to Pachamama’s targeted rebalancing efforts. In the dream, the existence of Jan and I, our car, and damage to our car are not only dismissed; there is no evidence of any feminine energy present in this man to value or care about us. In the case of the driver of the truck, his dominant masculine energy is in the service of his narcissistic self: oblivious, unfeeling, and completely dismissive of the world around him. Whose needs within the self are being served by this tyrannical, self-serving despot who is blind to the needs or even existence of others? I propose that the culprit is a very primitive ego state, in control behind the scenes of what appears to be an adult.

There is a stage in the ontological development of the psychological self that Freud termed primary narcissism. Margaret Mahler called this same stage symbiosis to highlight the oneness of the unit of parent and child. Esther Harding coined the term autos to define this stage. I will use Ester Harding’s term autos to capture the ego state that all of these pioneers in psychology were talking about when reflecting upon the experience of the human being in earliest infancy.

In infancy, it is normal and appropriate to be completely absorbed within the narcissistic shell of the self. At this age there is no differentiation of self and other. Self is everything. At this stage of near utter helplessness the world must revolve around the needs of the infant—even read those needs without them being expressed—for that infant to survive and thrive. To the infant, the parent’s needs for sleep, rejuvenation and recreation don’t matter—they simply don’t exist. Plain and simple, the world is all about ME, as it should be, AT THAT AGE.

As development progresses beyond infancy, consciousness gradually awakens to a world of others, separate beings with their own needs. Growing up becomes a progressive paring down—or suppression of the world view and the power of the early stage of primary narcissism, with its primitive ego state of autos—in the service of becoming an autonomous independent person, capable of caring for self and becoming a contributing member of an interdependent community.

The charming baby of infancy, once cooed over, becomes the big baby of adulthood if it fails to acquiesce to more socialized and autonomous ego states. In truth, the autos of yesteryear remains an enduring ego state in all adults. All must struggle with the desire to return to the safety and security of being totally taken care of, loved, provided all that she/he needs or wants; the expectation of needs being met simply because they are so important.

This autos ego state may have been thrown out of the Garden too soon, never allowed to fully experience safety and love, or it may have been neglected and abused, or it may simply continue its longing to return to that paradisal state of oneness—without any effort. Nonetheless, as we emerge from early childhood our autos is forced into the background as we must navigate and adapt to the complexities and expectations of a world that demands that we too give.

When the autos remains dominant we find the child who demands all the focus and all the toys. In the autos state we want what we want when we want it. The autos has no energy to think about you. In truth, as with the truck driver in my dream—you simply don’t exist. And if you do exist your value lies only in your ability to serve the elemental needs of comfort, security, and pleasure. If an adult is covertly possessed by the autos ego state, beware its Trojan horse—often called seduction. The true motive may be to draw you in, ultimately to serve its own needs of comfort, security, and pleasure.

Anthony Weiner, in my judgment, is just the latest example of a man covertly controlled by his autos, emboldened and empowered by the dominant control of masculine energy. Sending an anatomical picture over the Internet and having tantalizing on-line dialogue is still, ultimately, an absorption in self-pleasuring. All interaction and stimulation takes place in the imagination, within the self. “Sexual contact” at this level is masturbatory—an offshoot of narcissism and self-pleasuring—it’s safe, you’re in total control. BUT, there is no real relationship, real connection, with a real person. This type of contact, actually, suspends real-ity. Real contact with a real woman or other person requires opening up to the feminine energy within the self, in all sexes. Only through that feminine energy can true merging and contact be made to unite with another.

Furthermore, even if Anthony Weiner made real contact with a woman he’d met on the Internet he is not a real person at that meeting. He is a fragmented being who has left his husband self at home. The bottom line: real relationship is simply too much work for the adult possessed by their autos.

Women are not exempt from the dominance of male energy within the self acting in the service of the autos either. Women must examine their own modus operandi in choosing partners. If, secretly, the autos’s need for safety and security, completely provided by another, is in control of the personality, then that woman’s masculine energy may act decisively on the autos’s behalf, choosing a dominant narcissistic partner who demands a caretaker/lover that the woman might overtly protest, but covertly covet, feeling secure in being taken care of.

At the other extreme, the autos may enlist the dominant masculine energy to choose a passive partner to covertly be assured of getting what she wants, though she might overtly protest that partner’s lack of drive, imagination, or initiative.

All must assume responsibility now for scrutinizing the interplay between masculine and feminine energies within the self. We are on the precipice of a major shift away from a free ride for dominant masculine energy control. All are charged to act in concert with Pachamama toward a new balance. But behind this balance of energetic forces lies the autos self, which must be reckoned with and put to bed. Pachamama has little nurturance or patience for the autos ruling an adult. In fact, as is abundantly evident, it arouses her destructive fury.

Time to get out of the nest and take responsibility, as an adult self, for the greater interconnected needs and survival of all.

Chuck

P.S.: I had completed this blog the other night and read it to Jan. Though it felt complete, I sensed there was something more to be said. I woke last night thinking of the blog and then had this dream:

Jan and I are in a rural setting. An old bridge had been repaired. It’s not a bridge of much consequence, but it’s the only bridge to get to the road that leads to more significant bridges.

I am driving over the bridge a little too fast. It’s only a narrow two-lane bridge. Suddenly, an oncoming car swerves directly at us with what appears to be an inevitable head-on collision as there is no place for me to go. At the last second the other car swerves back into its lane and we both stop.

I rush over to the driver, an Asian woman, who has already gotten out of her car and is busily typing on her laptop. I am now the observer, as she and a man take off their clothes. She mounts him and they begin to have intercourse. Suddenly, another woman, an older woman, appears who watches them intensely, first with an expression of shock, then anger, then jealousy, and finally deep wrenching sadness. As the Asian woman orgasms the older woman holds her, desperately trying to share some aspect of her experience.

This dream dramatically stops me and insists that I include one more point in my blog. The older woman in this dream embodies the impact of her controlling dominant masculine energy upon her own fulfillment. The experience of orgasm is a door to the deep feminine energy of Kundalini, an energetic rapture of ecstatic proportion. Letting go to such an engulfment can be fraught with fear for anyone, whether alone in a masturbatory experience of self-union or with a partner.

A woman might call upon her masculine energy to shut down her deep feminine energy under the terror of loss of self and dissolution—just as a man might limit his sexual experience to images of woman or objectified, depersonalized interactions with an actual woman—similarly protecting herself from the terror of loss of self in engulfment or failure in actual relational experience. In this case, the dominance of the autos ego state is protection at a very primary level. It is likely that the psyche, in this case, is housing a tremendum of unrecapitulated trauma that the autos, in its striving for safety, directs its masculine energy to cut off and protect itself from, resulting in loss of the feminine.

The challenge for both sexes is to release the stranglehold of control that dominant masculine energy can have on the need for deep union within the self, with a partner, and with the greater world. However, we must look beyond the dominance of masculine energy and address who is really in control and why.