A Day in a Life: Giving Up Having it My Way

I thought I’d follow up on last week’s blog with a quick update. Tomorrow, I’ll have more time to post a lengthier monologue on confronting fear and the process I engaged in using the guidance that is available.

Today, I discovered that I am going have to give up my Wednesdays as sacred days. It’s a new year after all and so far I can’t seem to recreate what I had worked so hard to establish last year, a day mostly dedicated to me and my own work. If I am truly going to learn to flow I have to give up my expectations and desires to have it my way. So, I acquiesce to the truth that Wednesdays no longer belong to me in quite the same way. However, this morning (a Wednesday) started off very nicely with a computer upgrade, so everything is chugging along at a much faster speed and my frustrations with my beloved but aging iMac have simply disappeared.

Since I wrote about her last week, our old dog, Spunky, has really slowed down. We no longer take her for walks, but simply let her out to roll in the snow and sit on the front porch. Last weekend she scared us by falling each time we took her out, her back legs too weak to make even a short trip up the road. (I just had to run out and get her because she was strolling over to the neighbor’s house. She came limping back as soon as she saw me, saying: Yes, Jan, I’m coming, but you’re no fun anymore!) She doesn’t seem to be in pain and we’re trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. The slippery wood floors in the house send her skittering and falling and we’ve laid small rugs down to aid her so she can safely get to her favorite resting spots.

What I have been learning today is that if I am going to flow, which also means being brave enough to face my fears, I have to give up some of my wants and desires to have the day go according to plan. It isn’t enough to carve out a sacred day either, because then I may not look for the sacred in other days, for the meaningfulness in the mundane. My intent for tomorrow is to offer a peek at my process of inner work around a particular issue, only because I think it might be helpful as I continue to channel Jeanne around the subject of fear. Fear comes up a lot, in every day, in some way, in my personal life and in the lives of those around me, with people I work with and with those closest to me. I continue to find it to be at the root of all action and inaction, underlying all my decisions, offering me options if I am ready to accept the challenges of them. And the other day I had quite a lot of help in seeing just how I should confront my own biggest fear of the moment.

Take a look at Jeanne’s Message #636 of today with more guidance around working with our fears. I look forward to blogging tomorrow. Unless things don’t go as I have planned!
Until then,
Jan

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