Today, a Reader asks Jeanne a question about parts work.
The deeper I dig into my inner self, the more I have encountered parts of myself that I did not know existed. I have become an observer, watching these interactions, but right now they are all separate parts, all acting individually, with different likes and dislikes, needs and wants, etc., and “they” do not agree on anything! I have begun to feel like a stranger in my own body, and trying to referee all these different “people” is exhausting! I know this sounds absurd…I know that I need to join all these parts together to become whole, but I am struggling with this immensely. Please help.
Thank you for your continued love and guidance, DAC
My Dearest Reader, your condition is not unusual, for all do struggle with different aspects of self. It is what I speak of so often when I address the inner self and the outer self. Within each of those selves exist further selves, and this is what you are experiencing as you learn how to integrate them and become whole. Is this not the greatest challenge that all must face upon that earth? For this is truly the purpose of life, learning who you are and why you exist.
To begin with, I must first suggest that you, and all My Readers who seek wholeness, truly accept and fully know each of these separate parts. Who are they? What do they want? What do they need and desire of you, their leader? You are the main character here, and that you must never forget. When I say you, I mean the adult you, the mature adult person who wrote this question, seeking guidance of me. You are the leader in this equation of juggling life’s puzzle pieces.
How many pieces of self are there, and why are they all vying for attention? This you must also determine. You must not entertain them too much, or overdo any aspect they ask of you, for if you do, so will you lose control, balance, and awareness of your place in the world. Find always your adult self, the one who knows that you are on this journey of awareness for purposes of evolutionary growth.
Know, each day, the place you inhabit, including your body. Find it, feel it, accept it as your abode for as long as you exist upon that earth. Care about it greatly. This is a most important aspect of life that many who struggle with so many parts forget. They forget that they exist in a physical body, for they do not often feel it, so busy are they jumping and running between inner worlds and attempting to be in the outer world too. It can get very confusing and messy, as you say!
So to become aware of your physical body self, this most important and vital part of the journey (for you cannot make the journey without it) is another challenge that must become a priority. How do you do this? How do you get into your body, and stay in it, while all those parts are asking for attention? I would suggest a moment be taken each day, at awakening from sleep, before you even arise from bed, to say the following, a good mantra for everyone to say to begin a new day. Here it is:
I lie upon my self.
I slumber upon my self.
I lift this arm, this leg of self.
I attend to my breath of self.
I smell the air of self.
I feel the skin of self.
I knead the heart of self with gentle breath of self.
I lift my breath of self, inflating my presence in this body,
offering my self awareness of body self.
I exist in time and space of body self.
I am body self; I am inner self.
I am alive in inner body and outer body.
I am alive in breath of life.
I awaken now in body of self.
Allow your body to slowly awaken as you breathe into it with words of gentle stretching breath, allowing life breath to flow from head to toe, so that you are aware of your physical self. Then when you emerge from bed, feel your feet firmly planted and grounded upon the floor. Place intent upon the actions of your body. As you emerge say:
I feel my feet upon the ground.
I feel my breath in my heart center.
I feel my limbs begin to move.
I exist in this body now and all day.
I exist in each breath.
I move with each breath.
I am in this body at this moment and every moment.
Once you find your body self, then is it but a repetition of these practices each day that will bring you to a place of acceptance of this physical self. This self (though often felt as a mere shell) is most necessary, and should, as I have said, be treated with the utmost care and attention. Give it these things more often; give care and attention now, with awareness, as you plant your intent upon this “body knowing” to aid you as you seek integration.
The other parts of self who vie for attention are also important, but they must never overtake your body awareness, for then do they drive your car, and that may be disastrous, for they have not matured enough to pass the driver’s test! Ask your self, daily, to be in your physical body. Eventually, this will become easier. I know that many of you are so distant from that aspect of self that you protest even at the idea that you will one day be quite happy and satisfied with your body, but it is true!
Maintain awareness of all your parts. I suggest writing down what they say to you, and even to each other. I suggest that you take the time to find out who they are. Have a powwow with your self, a sit down get-together with no holds barred, no topic forbidden, and let loose, each part given equal time. Ask for names, ages, and occupations of each part, and allow each to speak. You may discover that you have more parts than you thought. And those of you who did not consider your self a person of parts may be quite surprised to discover that you do indeed have many voices wishing to speak. Ask your self: Who in me wants to speak first? And then see what happens as you begin to take this most beneficial journey into the inner self.
As you close your session, remind everyone that they must recede into the confines of your body and your psyche, for the time being, and that you will return to conduct another conference. But in the meantime, ask that they allow you to do your outer work and your outer life in peace.
Now then, we get to the topic of Recapitulation, for it is a big process that does not often remain quiet, in subtle dormancy, as you might ask. In this process of recapitulation, will you be triggered by what is outside of you, awakening and alerting those parts to the fact that they must speak out, that they cannot wait until the next meeting. And this you must pay attention to, for then are you being asked to listen, most carefully, to what is being spoken and felt. During such times, when you are triggered, you must not leave your body. You must remain present. Your awakening breath of self may be a good centering activity in order to remain present, even if only partially. As you go off to the land of recapitulation, you must keep one foot in present time, for this is where you will land when you are done finding out what you must learn about the self.
All of this parts work must be undertaken with a clear understanding of why you are being asked to pay attention to these parts of self. Do you wish to push them away? Do you prefer that they shut up and go back into their little closets of fear and illusion? Well, that is not healthy for the inner you or the outer you, and I think you know this is very true, My Dear Reader.
Your parts are all just little aspects of self, of you, the real you wanting to become known and able to fully disclose the truths carried all these years. Your parts are your truths, My Dear, and nothing to be afraid of, for in the long run will you regard them with love, as your unblocked, integrated self.
This is what you are seeking and learning, you know. You are learning to love your self. That is all that those many parts need and want from you. They want the aware, adult, mature self to love them all. This is what will bring you integration and wholeness, the total love of self, inner and outer. Love and appreciation of all parts of self, integrated in your body self, that is your goal.
I hope I have given you a few new ideas as you take your journey a little bit further each day. As I said:
1. You must stay in your body.
2. You must allow each part to speak its truths.
3. You must allow your breath of life to fill your body self with awareness of these truths.
4. You must learn to love and appreciate each of these selves and the truths they bear, so that you will achieve total love of self.
Not an easy task, but you are doing well, for you have awareness of these parts of self and that is where you must now turn your attention. They are present, so they must be ready to join you in a powwow. Allow your self to sit down with them, your heart open to hearing true words now, during this time of transformation. We are all about to enter a new phase, and you, My Dear, are being invited to quite a conference, a life revealing, life changing, life integrating event.
Welcome to the next leg of your journey. It will be thrilling, if you elect to view it that way. Or it will be scary, if you elect to view it that way. Either way, you are, in no uncertain terms, being invited to a sit down dinner with some very interesting and intriguing people. And they all have something very important to tell you. So spiff your self up; get your body ready to go on a new trip, to your grand meeting of self. Good Luck!